So anyone who might still be reading this can probably figure out why I haven't posted in a couple months. Baby S was born on January 26th! My water broke in the middle of the night, on the night of a full moon. We took a car service to the hospital, and after just a few short hours of intense labor (under 12 in total), he arrived! I had a normal vaginal delivery, and yes, I got an epidural, bu only after laboring for nine hours without one. And they turned it off for the actual pushing and birth. But it bought me three blissful, pain-free hours, during which I took the most refreshing nap of my life. I woke up energized and ready to push! In the end he had to be vaccumed out, which hurt like a motherfucker, but only for a few seconds. I tore, but not too badly. All in all it wasn't as bad as I'd feared, pain-wise.
There was drama in the hospital afterward though; I could not get him to latch on and his blood sugar dropped, which was terrifying. We had to supplement with formula, which made me feel like a failure. But he figured out the eating thing by the time we left to go home. Another scary thing was that they found a dimple near his spine that they said could be indicative of problems and might require neurosurgery to prevent paralysis. But they told us this on Saturday, and we had to wait until Monday to get the sonogram! It was agonizing. But it turned out to be fine, thank god.
So far being his mother has been overwhelming-exhausting and stressful and humbling and exhilarating all at once. I love him so fiercely it is almost more than I can bear. But I am so incredibly grateful that he is here.
