Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Shadoobie-doobie-doo

You know what else scares me about childbirth? I mean, besides the pain, and also suddenly being responsible for another human being?

Making a shadoobie* while I'm trying to push the baby out. Apparently this happens. A lot.

I have already warned my husband; he shrugged and said it would be no big deal.

You guys, I don't even fart in front of him. We've been together for years and it's literally never happened once (okay, I may have squeaked one out accidentally a time or two, but we both pretend he didn't hear it). So I'm not psyched about making a poo in front of him.

But I guess that will be the least of my worries. I hear that it can actually get pretty Human Centipede in terms of overall grossness, blood, poo, etc.

I'm reading all this literature about how women have been conditioned to be afraid of childbirth, and we shouldn't be, and we wouldn't need all this medical intervention if we would just let our bodies do their thing.

But how can I not be scared?

You poo! Right in front of everyone, for crying out loud!

*With apologies to Chelsea Handler for stealing that word from her.

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