So I'm a little over halfway through my Hypnobirthing class.
I feel like about 60% of it is really helpful and 40% of it is just hippie dippie propaganda, as I had predicted. Helpful: the breathing exercises and the relaxation tapes. Yes, the tapes are dorky, but they work! I fall asleep almost every time I listen to the main one. I do feel that, with practice, I am teaching myself how to relax, which is really helpful.
But the propaganda part is pretty annoying. Like, one of our assignments was to watch a film called "Orgasmic Birth." Yes, you read that right.
I did not get past the opening credits. After seeing exactly one minute of the film, my husband said, "This movie should be called 'Ugly Hippie Chicks Ejecting Babies While Coming.'" Which is pretty much exactly what happened during the opening credits. It was like the world's worst porn movie.
Also--birth as an orgasmic experience? I'm sorry, but I call bullshit. We came up with some possible sequel ideas: Orgasmic Tax Return Preparation, Orgasmic Root Canals, Orgasmic Going to your Job on Monday.
Next I'm supposed to watch "The Business of Being Born," a.k.a. the Ricki Lake water birthing documentary. I'm told that its alternate title should have been "If You Have Your Baby in a Hospital You Will Die." We'll see if I can get through more of that movie than the other one.
I feel like about 60% of it is really helpful and 40% of it is just hippie dippie propaganda, as I had predicted. Helpful: the breathing exercises and the relaxation tapes. Yes, the tapes are dorky, but they work! I fall asleep almost every time I listen to the main one. I do feel that, with practice, I am teaching myself how to relax, which is really helpful.
But the propaganda part is pretty annoying. Like, one of our assignments was to watch a film called "Orgasmic Birth." Yes, you read that right.
I did not get past the opening credits. After seeing exactly one minute of the film, my husband said, "This movie should be called 'Ugly Hippie Chicks Ejecting Babies While Coming.'" Which is pretty much exactly what happened during the opening credits. It was like the world's worst porn movie.
Also--birth as an orgasmic experience? I'm sorry, but I call bullshit. We came up with some possible sequel ideas: Orgasmic Tax Return Preparation, Orgasmic Root Canals, Orgasmic Going to your Job on Monday.
Next I'm supposed to watch "The Business of Being Born," a.k.a. the Ricki Lake water birthing documentary. I'm told that its alternate title should have been "If You Have Your Baby in a Hospital You Will Die." We'll see if I can get through more of that movie than the other one.
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